Do Not Pile Up All The Feels

It just happened. Like an hour ago.

I cried so much I did not know the real reason I cried. I just cried just like that. I called my best friends and talked to them. I realized one thing… I have not talked to people in the past couple of days. I talked, but it was just hi and bye. Nothing more than that.

I cried so much until my eyes hurt. My best friends asked me what happened to me and such and I couldn’t really answer it. I know I was feeling lonely. To be honest, I’ve been feeling lonely for the past one month. Or even more than that. Since I was alone, my mind kept thinking of the past that I didn’t even want to remember. But that memories came by anyway.

My best friends asked me if I had problems. No. Not at all.

But I know I never told them what I ever felt. I never called them when I felt lonely, I felt sad and I felt depressed. I kept it by myself. I always thought that I was just exaggerating and I didn’t want to bother them with my exaggerate mind. I thought I could handle everything by myself. So far, I was fine. I thought I was fine by just keeping my feeling by myself, no matter how sad it was.

Now I know I was wrong. I should’ve told them from beginning itself. I cried after I piled up all my feelings inside my heart. I’ve been trying to divert my mind but instead, I was thinking of all negative things. The past that I didn’t want to remember. I didn’t even think about it for the past few weeks, which was good.

One of the guys told me: “Now you know you right? That you should talk to us if you feel sad.”

I know they were telling me that I wasn’t being myself. Because I wasn’t a sad person. All people know how I was. I was cheerful, noisy and never cried. Rarely cried to be precise. But here, I cried more.

They told me to give myself more times to know more surroundings. I’ve been a very introvert person. I didn’t know I would turn out to be this kind of person.

But yeah…

Lesson learnt. I will not keep anything by myself. I need them to be my listener. Also, it takes more time for me to trust new people. I have friends, but they are not that close to me. They know my surface, but not deep inside. But I know eventually, I will find someone who cares about me, as much as my best friends care about me.

So… If anyone is feeling the same way as I do, you might want to talk about it with someone. It is not good to keep whatever you are feeling inside your heart. I did let out everything from my heart and I felt way better after that. Cheers! πŸ™‚

Ps: Special S/O to the guys who made me smile again and gave me a lot of encouragement. You all are the best! Thank you!


Have You Ever?

Have you ever feel left out because you are not in the same place as other people? You know you are not in the same place as other people but you are wishing you are there and you can join them.

That’s what I am feeling right now.

The past few days, I felt a little bit depressed than other days. I didn’t know why I depressed. I wanted to be outside my room and hung out with friends but at the same time, I didn’t want to leave my room. But if I stayed longer, I would get depressed. Oh well, I ended up staying in my room which made me depressed. I never knew I have this kind of depression recently.

But, yeah…

I’ve been moving in this new place since the last week of August. I know live must go on no matter what. But I left so many memories in my previous town. At some moments, not some, actually A LOT of moment I wish I could go back to my previous town and stay there with others. Yes, I have friends here but I have not find someone or some people that I can show my true self in front of them.

Anyway, I just wish I am back to where I used to be. I’ve been missing some events that I would like join. Especially today. I wish I could just be with someone that is very important in my life. I wish I could just spend my time with this person for a day. I know we are still in the same country. But not in the same town is a bit hard. Especially for me who is still trying to adapt with a new place.

I’m pretty sure this person knows how I feel right now. But he knew what to say while I was down and he made sure I smiled and laughed again. He knew exactly what I needed.

I just felt being left out because I wasn’t there. I wish I could celebrate his birthday like others. I wanted to be the part of surprise. I wanted to give him a present. I wanted to give him hugs like what I used to do.

I want time to pass a little bit faster to thanksgiving so I can meet him.


Happy birthday to one of the best people in my life! Thank you for being born 9 months after me and thank you for coming into my life. I love you.

Yes, I Miss It. But Not Now.

It’s almost one year I’ve been single. Not long enough, but not short either. To be honest, I feel kinda jealous with people who are in relationship. Of course I miss to be in a relationship. I miss having someone who cares about me (other than family and friends), someone who is willing to give me a company me whenever I feel alone, someone who sends me good morning and good night texts. Yes. I do miss those moments.

I miss all the attention when I was sick, I was hungry, I was having my period or having a rough day. I miss those moments when I just wanted to lie down on the bed and cuddle. I miss those moments when he called me and asked how was my day, as we were in long distance relationship, we could only call. I miss someone saying “I miss you and I love you”.

I wish I could turn back the time all at once. Either when I was together with him, or before I knew him. Sometimes I wish I could continue our relationship, or didn’t even start this relationship.

I’m not desperate for getting back in a relationship. I am enjoying myself right now to be honest. Yes, I am waiting. But not waiting for any relationships. I am waiting for the next episodes of my show or my drama to be subbed and uploaded in the website.

It is not a lie that I want a relationship. Of course I want it but not so badly. It is not my priority as of now. But I know eventually, I can get a better person that can love me and accept me as who I am. The one that will promise me and keep his promise to stay in my life till the end. The one that will not give up on me, on him and on us. The one that strong enough to walk on the rough path. The one that will always hold my hands when I fall down.

Am I right?


Let’s Welcome October

Today, is the last day of September. So many things had happened between this one month. Whether it was good or bad, but I learnt a lot the past one month. Since I moved to a new place, I had to start a new life. Without my family and my closest friends around me, I created my new life. Not much yet. But I am starting to make this new place as my forth home.

I was scared and anxious in the beginning of this month. I was depressed and a little bit frustrated about things that happened. But day by day, everything goes to its own place. I started to enjoy my new life here even though I don’t have much friends. I do have some friends but I still can’t consider them as my family yet. I don’t have so much bonds between all of us.

But, hey! Tomorrow is already October and I am excited. So many things I would like to do and I am sure that everything will turn out well. Yes, I’m still anxious for what will happen. But whatever will happen to me, I know it is for good. πŸ™‚

See you soon September.

Hello October!


Fur of Happiness

Currently, I am so much obsessed with these all furballs. What I mean are… CATS AND DOGS! Literally I am very obsessed with these creatures. Like, they can bring me happiness that human can’t give me. Since I broke up, to be honest, I became more obsessed with cats and dogs. Especially kittens and puppies. Their innocent face are just too cute and adorable, I can’t express how much I love their adorable face.

Basically, in my Facebook or Instagram, I followed some of the cats and dogs accounts. I liked most of the posts they posted. I always wished that I have either kittens or puppies. Well, I wish it happens anytime soon but since I have not settled down nor got a proper job and place to stay, I have to hold that dream till I have a proper place and job because I know I need a lot of money to take care of them.

For puppies/dogs, I love CORGI! Corgi puppies are the best. They look like potato. You know that I am currently writing a book and I made the main guy character have a corgi puppy and I named it “Sweet Potato”.



LOOK AT THEM! They are just too adorable I can even die. I wish I have a few of them right now that I can hug them. They are just too cute. But I know it is hard to take care of a dog and I know I need to spend some more money on them. But, really. I need one of these. To be honest, I don’t have any experience on dogs nor cats, so I would like to learn how to take care of them.

Even these kittens,

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AREN’T THEY SO CUTE? I saw a video where the kittens were running on the owner and climbed on the owner pants. I wished these little furballs would attack me that way too.

Well, one day, I will have either puppy or kitten or both πŸ™‚ They are just too adorable. Recently, I have a dream to have a small family and have some pets that my kids can play with. Isn’t that sweet? πŸ˜€ Oh well, I am still waiting for my prince charming to come anyway.

So, what’s your favorite pet? πŸ™‚


Stay Fit, Stay Healthy

I have my own goal for this year. I need to lose weight. Hahaha… I’ve been saying it since like the beginning of year but since I moved to this city, I started to be serious about it. The fact that I can’t go to grocery store that much makes me maintain my food. I’m trying to eat less and eat healthier food, such as fruits and veggies. But mostly fruits because I can eat it just like that.

But here… I give you some tips to stay fit and healthy!

#1: Exercise

Since I am in a graduate school, I don’t have so many classes for a semester. I only have 2 classes and all my classes are at night and twice in a week. So, technically I have a lot of times to workout in a week. Except, I also have some shifts at my workplace which I have to make my own workout schedule. But I’ve been trying to workout at least 3 times in a week.

I’m currently joining a Zumba class, which is 2 days in a week. Zumba is pretty tiring but fun. Sometimes I felt like I was in a Club because most of the songs that they use are Club songs. Hahaha… I’ve been to Club quite a few times, so yeah :p But really, Zumba is a good choice to exercise. I always feel good after Zumba class and I’m hoping I can keep going to Zumba class every week.

I haven’t measured my own weight to be honest because I am scared to know how much I weigh right now. But what I know, I lost a little bit of weight. Why? Because my jeans and some of my shirts are a little bit loose right now and I feel so good about it. My stomach is flatter as well.

Other than Zumba, I also do K-pop workout. Which means I dance according to K-pop songs. I found some good workout videos in Youtube and you all might wanna try. It’s amazing and so good. I sweat a lot after this workout too. And it’s enjoyable. The movement is not that hard either but maybe a little bit fast. Same like Zumba. But, it’s worth it. You might wanna try it.

Also, I do run on treadmill for half an hour and cycle for another half an hour. So at least I have to do cardio for an hour. Maybe I should try to run outside my apartment but it’s getting colder now. So, I am kinda reluctant to do that.

#2: Walk

This is part of exercise too. But recently, I just got a job in a Student Center, which is like 10 minutes away from my apartment. By walk. So, almost everyday I have to walk to Student Center in the morning and afternoon and then go back home by walk as well after that. I walk a lot recently.

But I feel good as well. I can enjoy the weather and the environment surroundings my new campus. And I feel I have better stamina too. I used to get tired easily by just walking a short distance. But now I can still walk more. Even I am no longer hesitant to go to gym after work. If I have time before classes, I would like to go as well. But I’m afraid I will fall asleep in class. Hahaha πŸ˜€

#3: Watch What You Eat

Now, I choose what I eat. The fact that I also don’t want to spend so much money on spending on outside food, I’m trying to eat less junk food. No snacks, ice-creams, coffees, chocolates and so on. I love cupcakes and all the sweet stuffs but I haven’t eaten that for a long time. I don’t remember when was the last time I ate donuts as well. Maybe last month?

I’m trying to make a schedule what I should eat each day. In theΒ morning, I try not to miss out any breakfast because it is important for our day. But I normally just drink milk or eat cereal or eat bread with Nutella. Don’t put too much Nutella of course. Just a reasonable amount. I used to put a lot of Nutella, but now I just put Nutella a little bit as long as it covers the other side of bread.

Afternoon, I eat a little bit heavier. Sometimes I still eat rice with tofu and mushroom or eggs. Or, sometimes I eat turkey sandwich with just lettuce, mayo and cheese. Well, if I want to go a little bit fancier, I make spaghetti. Not too much! There was once I made too much spaghetti and I had to finish it off because I don’t want to keep it in the fridge. (ps: my fridge is very messy since that fridge is a sharing fridge.)

At night, I only eat fruits. Anything you like. I normally eat oranges, grapes or apples. These are the easiest fruits to eat for me. I don’t have to cut them or whatsoever. I just have either to peel the skin (for orange) or just wash them (for grapes and apples). And I don’t eat too much as well. Well, I know sometimes I will get hungry in the morning, but it’s fine.

#4: Drink More Water

STAY HYDRATED! Like really. Drink more water. I have like 3 big bottles in my room. But I can’t finish them all in a day hahaha. Maybe just 2 of them. And then I have to refill them again.

But yeah. This is important! Drink a lot of water. It’s fine if you have to go to bathroom so many times. Water is good to cleanse your body and throw away all the toxic. The best time to drink water is after you wake up. I always drink water after I wake up. At least I try to drink it after I wake up. Sometimes I forget as well :p


I hope these tips are useful for you all. Let me know if you have any suggestions or any comments about your experience. I would be happy if you share it with me πŸ™‚


Mini Oreo Cheesecake

I like baking. A lot! I started liking baking since me and my best friend made nutella cupcakes and cookie and cream cupcakes. I had a sleepover in his place and we really had fun.

So, since then, I tried so much things. From brownies, cheesecake, and also chocolate lava cake. I even tried to make oreo lava cake. Basically, I put oreo jello in the middle of the chocolate batter before it went inside the oven.

But anyway… Let me share you my favorite baking recipe.

MINI OREO CHEESECAKE! It’s very easy and it doesn’t take a lot of times. I don’t think I ever took the pictures of the result. But I will put pictures how it will look like. I hope it is fine for you all.

So, here it is…

Servings: approx 24 cups (if you just want to make 12 cups, cut the measurement into half)

Time: 30-40 minutes


  • 42 pieces of Oreo; 12 coarsely chopped
  • 2 lbs of cream cheese (room temperature)
  • 1 cup of sugar
  • 1 tsp of vanilla exctract
  • 1 cup of sour cream
  • 4 large eggs, lightly beaten


  1. Preheat the oven to 275F. Line standard muffin tins with cupcake cups. Place 1 whole cookie in the bottom of each cup.
  2. Beat cream cheese until smooth by using mixer (medium-high speed), gradually add sugar and add vanilla. Beat until combined.
  3. Put eggs, a little bit at a time, beat them together and scrape down the sides of the bowl as needed.
  4. Beat in sour cream and chopped cookies. Mixer is not needed.
  5. Divide the batter evenly on the cup, fill each of them approx 3/4 of the cup height.
  6. Bake them! It takes around 20-22 minutes until the filling sets. After that, let them cool down. Refrigerate for around 3-4 hours, of even overnight. Remove from tins before serving.

And… The result will be like this!


I wish I can show you how it looked like when I made it. But let see, maybe I can make these during weekend. If yes, I will take a pic of it and update this post.

Please try the recipe because I assure you that it is going to be super duper nice! Sometimes I made these for small gathering with my friends. I even made them for Valentine’s Day. I made it for my office. I think it was last year.

It is really easy and doesn’t take so much time as well. So, let me know if anyone will try this or ever made this before. Also, if there are some people who want to suggest me anything for baking, let me know. I will be glad to hear it from you. πŸ™‚

PS: I will share more baking recipes next time and I will try to take pics of my results also. Alright? πŸ˜‰


Because I Need To Laugh Too

Today’s topic is: favorite shows.

So, basically, since I like K-shows, I watch them most of the times. I know I don’t understand their language but I like to watch them. I almost watch them everyday. No. I watch them EVERYDAY. I watch the shows in the morning when I just wake up (if I don’t have work) or after work or after classes. Whenever I have time, I watch them. To be honest, these shows are pretty funny and I like them.

Currently, I have 3 favorite shows. I always try to take turn which show I am going to watch first and such. I can just sit down and watch their shows. People might find it boring, but not for me. I like them a lot.

#1: Running Man


This is one of my most favorite shows in my life. Those people who like to watch K-shows definitely know this show. It is very famous in Korea. Well, I think last time it was more famous because it was kind of different show compared to others. Their main game was name tag game, which they had to rip each other name tags.

For those who follow this show from beginning definitely know how the game works. Mostly they have some missions need to be done and they have to win their missions so that they can get advantages for their final mission. Most of their final missions were name tag ripping game. This game always highlights the entire show.

But recently, they don’t do this game anymore. I understand maybe because their members are already old and maybe they don’t have energy to do that. Yet, I still watch the shows anyway. Even though, in my opinion, it gets a little bit boring with their projects but they always entertain me. I mean they never failed to entertain me. I still laugh with their jokes.

Sometimes, I re-watch the old episodes or the old episodes that I never watched before. I feel like the older episodes are way better than the current one. Their missions were very exciting back then. I wish their missions are getting better for the next episodes.

This show has been aired since 2010 and not sure till when this show will last. I really hope that it will last way longer. But I understand at some point this show will approach the end of it. Especially I heard that the members are going to start other game show. Well, I will still be their fan anyway.

Those people who never watch this show, maybe you can try to watch some of the short clips in Youtube. It is really exciting. At least for me.

#2: Hello Counselor


This is actually pretty good show. This show is discussing about people’s problems. From a daughter who had a very heartless dad, a mother who didn’t take care of her kids, a woman who was obsessed with dogs, etc. I’m not sure if their stories were exaggerating or not, but I like to listen to their problems. Exaggerating or not, I know that problems happen within our society and I think it is good to be aware about those problems.

Sometimes, their stories were pretty depressing. The one that I felt it was pretty sad was about a mother who didn’t take care of her kids. I was thinking why did she not take care of her kids. I would be fine a little bit if her kids were teenagers or around my age, but her kids were still in primary school. I was kind of mad the way that mother answered the hosts and guests questions. Like, as if it was nothing.

The best part of the show is actually their hosts. They did a very good job for bringing the show. They knew when to be funny even though the person who gave the concern letter was being serious. I feel that most of their jokes didn’t offend people. Well, I am saying in a third person view. Other people might feel different ways. So, yeah.

But really. I like this show. The hosts (and also the guests) really did a great job. I’m still looking forward for their next episodes.

#3: Knowing Brothers (Ask Us Anything)


I think this is pretty new show. But this show also never failed to make me laugh. The concept is a classroom in a school. So normally the guests would come to the show and said that they were transferring from another high school. Since the members of this show are guys, so they are more excited if girlband members appear on the show. But if boyband members appear, they won’t be excited. Sometimes, they would joke around and said to go back to their old school.

I feel like the main segment of this show is Ask Us Anything. Basically, the guests will ask them questions about their life and the members of the show have to answer the questions correctly. If they don’t answer correctly, they will get hit by a toy hammer. I think some of the episodes, when actresses appeared on the show, they would purposely answered the question wrongly so that they can get hit by the actresses (because they were stunningly pretty).

Each of the members really have different characters and I like it how they joke around according to their characters. I’m not sure if the jokes were actually offending the other members or not. Because sometimes I feel like their jokes were a little bit too much for others. But I think that’s how the members are getting closer.

It is funny if any singers or boybands or girlbands actually appeared on the show and the members guessed that they wanted to promote their new songs. Which sometimes it was true. They appeared on the show because they wanted to promote their new songs or albums.

Since it is new, I am not sure how famous it is. But, it is pretty good to watch.


If anyone of you haven’t watched either one of these shows, you can try to watch the clips in Youtube. Really. They are pretty good. Well, since the shows are in Korean, so you might wanna find them with English subtitles. Some of the jokes we might not get it, but I think I am used to it so I got most of the jokes. If anyone would like to know which episodes to watch, let me know! I can suggest some of them.

Alright, time to study! πŸ™‚ Good night!


Get Creative For Your Room

This time, I’m going to talk about room decoration that I normally do for room. I’ve been living by myself for the past 5 years right now. When I was in undergrad, I was living in dorm for 3 years and for my last year, I lived in an apartment with some friends. I got my own room, so technically I could do whatever in my room. As in I could decorate my room as much as I could. (Which, I regretted that a little bit because I had a lot of things to pack when I had to move out.)

But anyway, now I am also living by myself in a campus apartment. I got the best view ever to be honest. I’m living in the 10th floor and I have one of the biggest rooms in the apartment. So, basically I have 2 large windows that are facing to my campus area. Again, I live by myself. Well, still sharing an apartment but I have my own room.


So, this is my another chance to decorate my room again. Before, I still kept those decorations that I used to use back in my old apartment. I asked my friends to send those decorations to me and it arrived in the beginning of this week.

Every of my friends know that my room always have 2 things: christmas lights and pictures.

This time, I put the same things. I had a bird cage – without the bird, of course – for extra decoration. I already had that bird cage since 2 years ago I believe. For my current room, I hung that bird cage on the ceiling and I put a little part of the christmas lights inside the cage. Also, some of the remaining of the lights were wrapped around the cage. Since there were 2 christmas lights (around 100 light bulbs for each string), I had so much to be hung on the ceiling. Below are the pictures of one of my favorite room decorations.

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Other than those lights, actually I put all my favorite pictures on the wall near my study table. I clipped the picture on the string and put them on the wall. I would like to show the pictures of it but there are some of embarrassing pictures of me and my friends so I won’t show it here. Hahaha I’m sorry. I still have my privacy, right? So, in this case, I will just describe it for you. Since I don’t have enough string to put all the pictures, some of the remaining pictures were pasted on the wall. But it’s pretty good. I call that part of the wall as wall of memories, because all those pictures are sweet memories that I’ve shared with other people in my life.

Do you have any of your favorite room decorations? πŸ™‚



K-pop Songs Fill My Entire Day

So, according to the Blog Challenge Month topic (which was posted on September 11th), today is going to be Daily Playlist!

Well, it depends on what I do actually. I’m currently listening to more Korean songs than others. Like, recently, I just discovered some videos in Youtube that play piano cover of K-pop songs. If you like K-pop, you will like it! It’s very calming and relaxing. I literally slept when I was listening to the songs. I also listened to it when I was doing my homework and I could actually concentrate. Hahaha… I am not joking. I finished one of my assignments today. Despite the assignment was quite hard, but I could manage to do it.

Here are some links of the videos from Youtube of K-pop piano cover if anyone would like to listen to them:

Beautiful K-POP Piano Music for Studying and Sleeping, Relaxing

μž”μž”ν•œ κ°€μš” ν”Όμ•„λ…Έ λͺ¨μŒ | Relaxing KPOP Piano Compilation

K-Pop Piano Compilation for Studying and Relaxing | CALM PIANO

(credit: Smyang Piano & DooPiano)

Also, I keep repeating to some songs from my playlist almost everyday. And yes. They are K-pop songs too. SORRY! I CAN’T HELP IT PEOPLE! I JUST LOVE THEM. Hahaha… Well, I have my favorite boybands and girlbands, of course. But I’m not a teenager anymore, so I still like old K-pop songs. It’s just that recently I found some good songs from newer K-pop boybands, which are pretty good. I would like to put link on each songs actually, but it’s going to be a lot. But, I would like to recommend some good songs that you would like to hear if you are interested in K-pop.

  1. Again – Turbo
  2. Gashina – Sunmi
  3. Pray (I’ll Be Your Man) – BTOB
  4. The Eye – Infinte
  5. My House – 2PM
  6. I Don’t Love You – Urban Zakapa
  7. You, Clouds, Rain – Heize
  8. Can’t Breakup Girl, Can’t Breakaway Guy – LeeSSang
  9. Abracadabra – Brown Eyed Girl
  10. Stay With Me – Chanyeol, Punch
  11. Shake It – SISTAR
  12. Falling In Love – 2NE1
  13. On The Way To Love – Im Seu Long, Yoon Hyun Sang
  14. Gucci – Jessi
  15. Love Love Love – K.Will

Well, there are still some more songs actually. But I can’t write the whole thing here because there are A LOT. If you are interested to listen to any one of those songs, go to Youtube or Spotify. Most of the songs are already in Spotify anyway. If you are interested to listen to more K-pop songs, check these groups or singers: 2PM, 2AM, BigBang, Super Junior, SNSD, SISTAR, APink, 2NE1, BlackPink, K.Will, Kim Tae Woo, Kim Jong Kook, Jessi, LeeSSang.

How about you? What’s your daily playlist? πŸ™‚